Monday 16 January 2023

Injecting some reality into the world of LEGO

I'm a member of the community at Brickset, a UK-based website that started out as a hobby project for its creator, Huw, and has become one of the world's most popular LEGO websites and resources.  You can find it at www.brickset.com and it's basically made up of three major elements.


Firstly, the database.  This is a complex beastie, which not only holds details (lots of details!) of just about every set ever released and links to reviews of those sets - both official Brickset reviews and reader-submitted ones, but it also allows you to keep a detailed record of your own collection, telling you just how many sets, minifigures and indeed pieces you own.  The numbers can be something of an eye opener (apparently I own 4,167 Technic friction pins.  I thought it might be more, actually), and you may wish to keep your significant other away from the database if you've been... selective... about telling them exactly how many sets are in the loft / cupboard / wardrobe / that shed that you had to construct at the bottom of the garden.  And indeed if you've been creative in stating what it all cost and what it's all worth.  Otherwise you may find your collection suddenly appearing on ebay.


Secondly there's the main site itself, which consists of news articles and reviews produced by the Brickset team.  Due to Huw's skill in coding and interrogating the database, there are also a number of auto-generated articles, such as the 'Random set of the day', which are generated by Huwbot, who has become something of an icon to the readers.  Each article posted is open to comment, and with (at the time of writing), over 286,000 members, the discussions can be lively.


Busy though the comments sections are, most of that chatter happens in the third area of the site (which is, technically, a completely different site, but the integration is such that it doesn't seem like it), which is the Brickset Forum.  This is open to pretty much any topic, thus we have threads about TV, books and so on, but understandably, most of the discussions are LEGO based.  It's also a good place to ask for help if you're looking for something specific.  A few years ago, I worked in central London, and was not too far from both Hamley's on Regent Street and the Lego Store in Leicester Square.  At the time, both were selling minifigures that were difficult, if not impossible to find anywhere else - Hamley's had a 'Royal Guard' minifigure, unique to the store, which looked like a Coldstream Guard with their distinctive bearskin.  Meanwhile, down the road, the Lego Store had the 'Lester' minifigure, which was unique to their store.  


In one of the forum threads I'd mentioned that I was close, and was happy to pick up figures for people.  While Hamley's took a 'Give us the money'' approach and was therefore happy for me to go in and buy 64 in one go (and another 20-odd on a subsequent visit), the Lego Group were artificially stifling supply by imposing a purchase limit of three minifigures per shopper.  By a dint of extraordinary cunning, which involved buying three, going upstairs, buying another three and then coming back the next day and doing the same thing, I managed to ship around 130 of these around the globe and became quite familiar with the lady in the Post Office.  "More Lego?"


I've also benefitted from the assistance of other Bricksetters, which has let me add a few sets - at reasonable prices - to my collection, that I'd been after for a while (10230 Mini Modulars and the Monster Fighters 10228 Haunted House spring to mind).  So when I saw a plea from someone just before Christmas, looking for a specific set, and I was able to help, I was happy to jump in.  And this is where we start to get somewhere near to what this post is actually about.


The set in question is 60347 Grocery Store from the City theme.  It's a relatively basic set and at £54.99, the Brickset review felt it was a nice enough set but a little pricey.  It's basically a small supermarket / fresh produce store made up of 404 pieces, some of which are the new (new-ish) road plates.  However, this isn't what my fellow Bricksetter was after.  What he was trying to track down, in order to score some 'Dad points' with his daughter, was a special edition of this set that was exclusive to Asda.  It simply came with an extra sticker sheet in order to customise the set to look like an Asda store rather than a generic Lego store and, better still, Asda was selling it at the knock down price of £30.  As any Lego fan will tell you: 10-15% discount is the bare minimum you should be looking for on any set.  20% is a good discount and 30% is pretty much an instant-buy.  With £24.99 off, this represented a 45% reduction, which is about as no-brainer as it gets.


I picked one up and posted it off.  After about 10 days with no reported of a parcel arriving, I decided to grab another one, just in case.  Fortunately, a few days after that it arrived safely, so I added 60347 (with sticker sheet) to my Lego purchase spreadsheet (really need to put a password on that document!) and updated my collection on the Brickset database.


As such, this set has been sitting in the corner of my living room for a couple of weeks, mainly due to the fact that I've made a New Year's resolution to actually build more of the Lego sets that I buy, rather than putting them in storage 'to build later'.  And it's got me thinking...


With the application of a few stickers (1), this generic Lego store is dragged out of the fantasy play world of Lego and becomes a building rooted in the real world.  So I wondered what other modifications could be made to Lego sets to give them a dose of reality.  Here are a few suggestions...




60330 Hospital



Image courtesy of Brickset


The latest in a long line of medical buildings, 60330 Hospital was released in 2022 and for £89.99 you get 816 pieces that lead to a largely glass structure with the obligatory SUV-style ambulance and a helicopter.  The generous count of 13 minifigures includes a mix of Doctors, hospital staff, patients and a terrifying clown called Citrus who is presumably there to put kids into a safety-first state of mind because they're never ever going to want to set foot in a hospital ever again after they've met this nightmarish creature.


Real World Update:


Very straightforward.  Simply add in a few more minifigures representing nurses and ambulance crew, give them placards and banners pointing out how poorly paid they are and hey-presto!  Instant picket line outside the hospital.  Maybe if the hospital administrator had decided to allocate funds to the wage bill rather than the somewhat extravagant helicopter, things would be less stressful.




60008 Museum Break-In



Image courtesy of Brickset


This City set hails from 2013 and at the time cost £49.99 for a 563 piece set with six minifigures, which seems pretty good value.  The set is based around a (fairly small) model of a City Museum which contains a number of treasures - including a copy of the painting 'Girl With A Pearl Earring - and two wrong 'uns have rocked up in their van to turn the place over.  Fortunately they're foiled by a four man Police team who turn up with a van and a helicopter. (Always with the helicopters!)


Real World Update:


To bring this set forward to the present day, the Lego Group just add minifigures of two posh twenty-somethings in Extinction Rebellion t-shirts. The painting comes with two plates and two stickers.  One is the original old-master, the second is another copy of the painting, but this time it has tomato soup thrown all over it.  As the protestors stage a sit-in, simply replace the painting tile with the soup-covered variant for a twenty-first century protest.  Then while the Police are arresting Annabelle and Tarquin, the criminals can be getting away scott free with the rest of the museum's collection.




60335 Train Station



Image courtesy of Brickset


This 2022 set, presents a minimalist train station - actually more of a platform with ideas above its (sorry) station.  It comes with a small section of track, a level crossing and two vehicles.  The first is a bus, and the second is a neat utility truck that, in addition to the regular truck wheels, has an additional set of rail wheels, so it can be driven along the track to carry out repairs.  For some unfathomable reason, it also has a track-only compatible trailer that has a portaloo on it!  Notably, for a £69.99 set, it has no train. 


Real World Update:


With rail workers being yet another group that are currently alternating between strike action and moaning at the government about pay and conditions, a station with no trains is already pretty realistic.  Simply add a few minifigures in donkey jackets standing round a brazier (could use a light brick here for added realism) and the transformation from working station to picket line is complete!




60292 Town Centre



Image courtesy of Brickset


Released back in 2021, this build depicts a busy town centre, with a main road, a junction, a number of vehicles and some buildings.  All you need to start creating a Lego town.  This particular town is embracing green principles, as it has an electric car plus charging point.  A recycling area is provided for the minifigures to dispose of their waste, and a green area with a bench is available to relax in.  Buildings-wise, there is a car wash and a pizza restaurant with the floor above being used for a Kendo dojo.  All in all, a nice starter town set for a shade under £90.


Real World Update:


Naturally, for the 'Just Stop Oil' brigade, no amount of green initiatives will ever be enough until we're all wearing hair shirts, living in mud huts and travelling no further than our feet will carry us as all cars will, in their dystopian utopia, be banned.  So to transform this busy town scene which is in no way realistic, given that everyone is happy and getting along with each other, just a few changes are needed.  Add a two or three extra minifigures wearing 'Just Stop Oil' t-shirts and place them in the middle of the street, instantly making everyone's life a misery.  For added realism, a tube of superglue will be included in the set, so that the minifigures can be permanently affixed to the road.  A Police Officer is already included in the set, and just like his real-world counterpart, he can be placed at the scene, asking the protestors if they're ok, whether they would they like a cup of tea and not doing anything to actually remove them.



At present, I don't have a huge amount of space to display my Lego sets, so I gaze enviously at those who are able to construct vast cityscapes in lofts and basements.  If we ever move to somewhere where I can claim a 'Lego room' though, then I may well start to build something and maybe I'll include a few tongue-in-cheek 'modifications' like the above.  That's the whole point of Lego, right?  The picture on the box is just a starting point!



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1. I will point out now, that if and when I build this set, I will not be applying the Asda stickers.  Partly because I don't shop at Asda, but mainly because the designers have committed the cardinal sin of STAMP, or 'STickers Across Multiple Pieces'. This means that the set cannot be deconstructed without either slitting the sticker(s) in half, or keeping two bricks attached.  The Lego Group learned a while ago that this was not tolerated by Lego fans.  Presumably the Asda designer who created this sheet is not a fan of the brick and didn't bother talking to any of them before s/he started work on this project.


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